Comments on: Adam raised a Cain: When our children break our heart…

By: Adam Raised a Cain: Reflections for Parents in Pain - Brian Harris

Adam Raised a Cain: Reflections for Parents in Pain - Brian Harris — Sat, 05 Mar 2022 23:22:16 +0000

[…] in 2016 I wrote a post, Adam Raised A Cain, reflecting on the sadness of the Genesis 4:1-16 account where we discover that the worlds first […]

By: Brian Harris

Brian Harris — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 12:50:22 +0000

In reply to Moira. Praying, patiently waiting and modelling a different option is often the best approach. Thanks for sharing, and strength as you wait during this tough season.

By: Moira

Moira — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 08:44:27 +0000

Thanks Brian
Loving your children comes at a cost as you have pointed out. What i find hard is that I simply don’t understand my children’s behaviour. Even when I was seriously ill, they did not care. It would have been so reassuring to have their support but their absence only added to the pain of ill health. I feel I have failed them. I didn’t teach them the values that I was blessed to have been taught. Now I don’t know what to do except to pray. Jesus often taught about the power of prayer and the patience a parent has to have. The story of the prodigal son comes to mind. How much must that father have suffered.

By: Brian

Brian — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 05:48:15 +0000

In reply to Gordon. Thanks Gordon.

By: Gordon

Gordon — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 01:26:51 +0000

Great opening lines.
Wonderful words of wisdo.
Blessings

By: Brian Harris

Brian Harris — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 14:27:26 +0000

In reply to Merle Silver U.BC Umhlanga Rocks. Thanks Merle. Very good to hear from you after all these years.

By: Merle Silver U.BC Umhlanga Rocks

Merle Silver U.BC Umhlanga Rocks — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 14:12:39 +0000

Brian thank you for your article on Adam raised a Cain. So enlightening and just what I needed.

By: Brian

Brian — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 01:11:06 +0000

In reply to Tania Watson. Really helpful insights there. Thanks Tania.

By: Tania Watson

Tania Watson — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 22:50:34 +0000

Brian, what struck me as I read this post was that your outline of what to say to parents in pain follows the stages of grief parents go through as they begin to realise that they have raised a Cain. There is wisdom to be learned here in offering comfort. “Above all, love” is key. Parents in pain need to know from others that God is love and that God’s love is immediately and always accessible even in the darkest of moments. And then those who offer comfort can benefit from understanding at what stage or place of grief parents in pain are in. In the early days parents in pain just need to know that they are loved and that they are not alone … Those early days and months are not times to be offered longer term perspectives that can only come as parents mature in their grief and acceptance of what has happened. Loving comfort can help parents move towards “it’s not over till it’s over” but it is a slow and often circuitous process.