Living on the Edge of the Inside: Why it’s OK to only Partly Belong…
Many years back I read Paul Tournier’s A Place for You, and was struck by his story of a young man who said simply: “Basically I’ve always been looking for a place – a place to be.” Perhaps it was because I identified, and realised that most of my life I have felt as though I belong – but also as though I don’t. It’s an oddly ambivalent feeling – being at home, but not really. And here was Tournier putting words to it -this search for home, a place where you can be without pretence, a place you feel you truly belong. I’m not sure I...
Read MoreWho would have thought? When change is possible…
Ever had one of those “who would have thought” moments? I’m thinking of those in the positive category – when you are delighted that something has unexpectedly come off, or you are so pleased that someone you underestimated has hit a six. True, we also have dismal and disappointed “who would have thought” nightmares when things don’t go at all to plan – but this is not the place for those. I’m writing this just a short while after Easter. Easter Sunday was history’s greatest “who would have thought” moment. Who would...
Read MoreThinking about posture: Punchers, Blockers, Embracers and Pioneers
We all know how shrill public discourse has been these last few years. I’m old enough to remember a time when if you disagreed with someone you thought: “That’s so interesting. It will be good to chat this through with them to see what we both can learn.” That doesn’t happen much today. There is very little nuance in the public space, and suggesting it is required is often seen as a sign of weakness or lack of conviction. The model is adversarial, and we often exaggerate and catastrophize to score cheap but dishonest points off opponents. It is sad when we see...
Read MoreWhen experience holds us back…
I’ve always viewed experience as an advantage. When you’ve gone through something a few times you pick up insights along the way, and learn what to embrace and what to avoid. If you keep making the same mistakes you have only yourself to blame, so other than experience meaning we are a little older, what’s the downside? I guess every advantage has a shadow, and it’s as well to be aware that even experience has potential hazards. Think of a few… Those who have experience assume they know, but what if our experience was at the ho hum level, and we never ask if we...
Read MoreReframing Change: 8 Guiding Principles
At the start of a new year it is common for people to dream about things they’d like to change. For most, dreams rarely move beyond the “wouldn’t it be lovely” stage, usually because the motivation to change is not well developed and is not accompanied by a sense of urgency. The bottom line for most of us is that if change is desirable but not essential, it won’t happen. Not that this is always the case. For some, too many previous failures and disappointments cast a long shadow. Desirable change is approached with the disbelief that it is possible – “tried it before, it didn’t work. Sure...
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