Comments on: When singleness is a gift…

By: Brian Harris

Brian Harris — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 12:39:06 +0000

Thanks Trixie. I can certainly see your point and would hate to think of gift in a trite way, or a way that denies the oceans of pain that accompany some gifts. I would say that the biblical concepts of gift and pain are not divorced. The Bible claims that martyrdom is a gift – hardly an easy one… But beneath calling it a gift lies a conviction that God reigns. Gift and calling are closely linked… So gift in this context does not mean happiness but the life path I am called to live, and the way I am equipped (strengthened) to live out that call.

By: Trixie Oates

Trixie Oates — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 11:51:49 +0000

I have left it for a while to comment on singleness being a ‘gift’ but still can not come to terms with your ‘theory’. When one loses their partner prematurely and worse still the children lose their father I can not see that as a gift. I accept by the law of averages it will happen to some and those who have married and had children are a long way ahead of those who wanted those things but it didn’t happen. There is a lot of pain involved. Maybe it is just the word ‘gift’ that stirs me up.

By: Brian Harris

Brian Harris — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 04:19:26 +0000

In reply to Sue Paice. Well you always provided heaps of chocolate Sue, and all of us have wonderful memories of fantastic Christmas days spent together (and not just Christmas day - many others as well). Just wish you lived closer to us now.

By: Sue Paice

Sue Paice — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 03:25:36 +0000

HI Brian, you are champion at taking care of singles…thanks for all the Christmas dinners I got to share with yourself and the family. I felt part of the family and that is truly what us singles love, not to be treated different. Oh and thanks for all the Christmas presents too!

By: Kerryn

Kerryn — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 14:30:40 +0000

In reply to Brian. Sure - it would be great if there was more understanding of people living with dementia.

By: Brian

Brian — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 00:49:22 +0000

In reply to Kerryn. Thanks Kerryn. Point taken. A post on dementia could be helpful. How would you feel about writing it? Happy to put it on the blog if you do... I will be in touch.

By: Kerryn

Kerryn — Fri, 12 Feb 2016 17:02:33 +0000

Thank you, Brian. This is a much needed discussion in our churches, and I agree wholeheartedly with the direction of your argument.
However, I do think your use of dementia as an illustration of functional singleness is unfortunate. Not that it is ineffective as an illustration, but simply because it perpetuates the stigma surrounding dementia. Our language about dementia often characterises it as a living death (for example, see Behuniak, S. (2011). The living dead? The construction of people with Alzheimer’s disease as zombies. Ageing & Society, 31, 70-92.) Or there’s the furore that erupted when Pat Robertson suggested it was OK to divorce a spouse if they had Alzheimer’s Disease. (https://youtu.be/vsaqfP87Z58). I know couples who have walked the difficult path of permanent hospitalisation of one partner with dementia, and maintained their loving, intimate marriage throughout. Unfortunately, the stigma around dementia means many people don’t even consider that possibility.
I know this is a minor point in the whole article; not even an entire sentence. It’s a great article. This just pushed a button with me since I’m more than a little passionate about the topic!