Posts Tagged "deep listening"

Hear, Help or Hug: 3 Ways to Respond

Posted by on Jun 23, 2024 in Blog | 1 comment

It was a slightly unexpected and somewhat abrupt question, but afterwards its wisdom struck me. I was chatting to a friend about a difficult thing that had happened and he simply asked: “So what would you like from me? To hear, to help or to hug?” It set me thinking about my instinctive response when people talk to me about something difficult. While I try to remember the importance of deep listening, I’m wired to swing into help mode. Tell me a problem, and I will quickly suggest 5 or 6 options that you can try. If you don’t like any of them, I’m usually able...

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From Deep Listening to Deep Seeing…

Posted by on May 12, 2024 in Blog | 0 comments

One fun thing about being part of a podcast is that it is only very loosely scripted and you find yourself saying things you don’t expect. While sometimes they are in the “I shouldn’t have said that” category, I’ve also had really pleasing moments when I’ve thought, “gosh, that was good. Did I really say that?” My recent Stirrers and Saints Podcast on “Mary – A Leader from the second chair” has one of those moments. Jen, Jon and I were talking about the importance of deep listening, and while totally agreeing with the value of...

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Asking Questions Like Jesus…

Posted by on Dec 3, 2023 in Blog | 4 comments

Don’t know if you were ever caught up in the WWJD quest – that’s “what would Jesus do” if the initials don’t immediately speak to you. It’s a good question, and it’s only possible to answer it if we look seriously at the WDJD query – what did Jesus do? When it comes to what Jesus did do, we know a few things for sure – he taught, he healed, he provoked, he forgave, he challenged. He lived, he died and he rose again. And so much more. Part of the so much more that doesn’t always get a look in is the way Jesus asked and answered...

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Illuminator or Diminisher?

Posted by on Nov 19, 2023 in Blog | 2 comments

I recently watched a YouTube talk in which David Brooks discusses his new book How to Know a Person – which explores listening to and seeing others well. It is filled with deep insights, but one especially struck me. Brooks asks if we are essentially illuminators or diminishers in our conversations. Naturally he elaborates. He suggests there are those who listen to reply, often to top what has been said, or to claim the same experience but more so. They take hold of conversations to redirect them to their agenda. They are not necessarily intending to be rude, but they prefer to be the...

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Sabbath as restoring or restorying?

Posted by on Nov 12, 2023 in Blog | 1 comment

Perhaps the title of this post is a little too clever, but it started as a throw away question in a podcast I was half listening to while going through my paces at the gym. My location is important, as it meant I was trying to follow a thoughtful discussion whilst gasping for breath and wondering if I would still be alive in ten minutes. In other words, I might well have missed the subtlety of the argument, but it did set me thinking. So what was the speaker getting at when asking if the Sabbath is primarily about restoring or restorying? I think the implication was that when most people...

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