Beyond Disappointment…
We all have to deal with disappointment. While our expectations are sometimes exceeded, often it works in the opposite direction. You were sure you’d get the great job you applied for, but then didn’t even get an interview. You thought a new relationship was going to go to a new level, but then the other person ended it. You thought you had aced an exam, but the examiner failed you. Disappointment comes in many different forms. It’s easiest when it is linked to a specific event – because then you have something tangible you must come to terms with (I didn’t make...
Read MoreWhy not try framing…
In his insightful book The Remarkable Ordinary, Frederick Buechner observes that artists get us to see things by putting a frame around them, effectively saying, “stop and notice me”. Often it is with very ordinary things, a flower, a bowl of fruit, a human face. The artist puts a frame around it and our attention is drawn, and we notice beauty and mystery in new ways. Buechner goes on to suggest that we should put frames around little moments of our life, and then stop, look, and listen to what they are saying to us. I’m trying to put his suggestion into practice, pausing...
Read MoreLimiting Beliefs: Things that hold us back
I was recently talking to someone who felt God had let them down badly. The marriage hadn’t gone well even though they felt they had done everything right. Of course they had indulged in a few little squabbles and minor bouts of selfishness, but nothing that seemed to justify the marriage ending in such a gut wrenching way – for it was a very messy and painful end. “So how am I ever going to trust God again?” was the plaintive question at the end. Disappointment with God – feeling let down and that God hasn’t kept the agreed contract (I follow the...
Read MoreDeeper-Wider: To be and to do…
You might know that I am very involved with the Carey Group and wearing my AVENIR hat, helped devise their vision document Carey 2026. It’s framed around the theme “Deeper Foundations – Widening Reach” or more simply, “Deeper-Wider” – a wonderful refrain for a missional movement like Carey. In an age when many are content with shallow slogans and triumphalist grandstanding, Carey has committed itself to becoming a reflective movement, unafraid to dig ever deeper into the Christian faith on which it is founded. At the same time it has signed up to...
Read MoreThinking about Fixed and Growth Mindsets
While Carol Dweck’s 2007 book Mindset is no longer new, it continues to spark rich conversations about the difference between fixed and growth mindsets. The basic thesis is simple: Some people approach life with a fixed mindset, assuming that they are born with certain talents and abilities and that relatively little can be done to alter what they started with. They will repeatedly do what they know they can do well – as this is safe and reassuring and gives them a chance to show what they are good at. If they fail, it is because they are no good at what they attempted, not...
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