Little victories…
We sometimes think everything would change if we managed to get a major breakthrough in some troubling area of our life. We long for a slam dunk moment after which success is assured and all will be well. Perhaps its an investment that turns out to be a goldmine, or a new breathing technique that assures us we will be able to say goodbye to anxiety, or a magical combination of foods that mean calories no longer count. We long for that single step which will solve all. And the simple truth is that we are unlikely to find it. Progress in life is most often found through little victories....
Read MoreStory or Plot: On Christmas and Purpose…
EM Foster wisely noted the difference between a story and a plot. “The king died and then the queen died” is a story. It’s a chronological sequence of events. However, it becomes a plot if you add two words, “The king died and then the queen died of grief.” Plot suggests cause and effect. A plot introduces a purpose, a because. It makes a story interesting and draws us in. “So what?” you ask – and fair enough. Too many of us are living stories without plots – lives that have no essential “because” or purpose. They are just a...
Read MoreAsking Questions Like Jesus…
Don’t know if you were ever caught up in the WWJD quest – that’s “what would Jesus do” if the initials don’t immediately speak to you. It’s a good question, and it’s only possible to answer it if we look seriously at the WDJD query – what did Jesus do? When it comes to what Jesus did do, we know a few things for sure – he taught, he healed, he provoked, he forgave, he challenged. He lived, he died and he rose again. And so much more. Part of the so much more that doesn’t always get a look in is the way Jesus asked and answered...
Read MoreSimplicity, Accountability, Purity…
I was chatting to a 40 something year old who was reflecting on his 15 years of marriage. ‘When we said “I do” we had agreed that it meant not only an unqualified “yes” to each other, but also a commitment to a future of simplicity, accountability and purity. We saw those as three key building blocks for the journey ahead. It’s working really well for us.’ I’ve thought about the conversation since. What are the key ingredients for a good marriage – or, for that matter, a good work relationship, a deep friendship or whatever? I’m...
Read MoreIlluminator or Diminisher?
I recently watched a YouTube talk in which David Brooks discusses his new book How to Know a Person – which explores listening to and seeing others well. It is filled with deep insights, but one especially struck me. Brooks asks if we are essentially illuminators or diminishers in our conversations. Naturally he elaborates. He suggests there are those who listen to reply, often to top what has been said, or to claim the same experience but more so. They take hold of conversations to redirect them to their agenda. They are not necessarily intending to be rude, but they prefer to be the...
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