Amor Fati: From things happen to me to things happen for me…
The Stoics have a lovely expression, “Amor Fati”. In essence it means love your fate, or at the very least, embrace your fate. Probably originating with Epictetus, the slave who became one of the founders of stoicism, it was popularised through the work of Nietzsche who in Ecce Homo writes: “My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.” Love your fate. Why? Stoics differentiate between what you...
Read MoreLimiting Beliefs: Things that hold us back
I was recently talking to someone who felt God had let them down badly. The marriage hadn’t gone well even though they felt they had done everything right. Of course they had indulged in a few little squabbles and minor bouts of selfishness, but nothing that seemed to justify the marriage ending in such a gut wrenching way – for it was a very messy and painful end. “So how am I ever going to trust God again?” was the plaintive question at the end. Disappointment with God – feeling let down and that God hasn’t kept the agreed contract (I follow the...
Read MoreGrateful, Engaged, Open: 3 Postures to Adopt
If you know me, you’ll be aware that I’m in my mid sixties. There’s something about being 65ish that gets people to ask, “So how are you feeling about life?” They know I am not retired but suspect I might be soon; they know I’m in good health – but hey, at this age anything could be around the corner (though I could live to a 103); they know I’m still writing and preaching and teaching and training, but then at 65ish you don’t take any invitation for granted. My usual reply is: “I’m grateful for the past, engaged in the...
Read MoreIn your dreams…
Language tells us a lot about ourselves. Take the three little words “in your dreams”. They really mean, “Don’t even think about it – it’s not going to happen.” It’s a pretty gloomy view of the world and assumes a planet where dreams don’t come true. And if dreams don’t come true, why bother having them. Think small, have low expectations, and you won’t be disappointed. But each time we say “in your dreams” we should have a bit of a look around first. Are we saying it at the airport? It wasn’t that long ago...
Read MoreThose little extras…
I’ve been reading the account of the feeding of the 5000 in Matthew 14:13-21. You’re probably already sighing and thinking this is a miracle you have heard about often enough. It’s the only miracle to pop up in each of the gospels, a reminder that there is something about food that is unforgettable. Feeding 5000 – yes, that was a truly memorable day. Except it wasn’t feeding 5000, was it? Tucked away in verse 21 is the little detail that they fed “about 5000 men, beside women and children.” Each time we speak of the feeding of the 5000 we quietly...
Read MoreDFM: The Direction, Focus, Motivation Trio
You might know that I now direct AVENIR Leadership Institute. It’s a lot of fun to lead something I was instrumental in founding, especially as it means I can’t pull the “I don’t know what the founders were thinking” card. If it’s not to my liking, it’s a little too obvious who is to blame! We’ve got a great team, a wonderful culture and a huge amount to be grateful for, not least our clients, who let us dive deeply into their world. They look to us for many things – ideas, an external perspective, coaching, encouragement, resources and...
Read MoreFor the Applause of Nail Scarred Hands…
I love Mark Batterson’s counsel to “live for the applause of nail scarred hands”. It has echoes of R.T.Kendall’s instruction to live “for an audience of one”. Both remind us that it is God’s perspective of who we are and what we do that matters. That’s easy to forget in an era that places great weight on what others think and say of us. It’s also a reminder that it’s not all about “me, myself and I”, but that I am a very small part of a very large story- the story of God. Ephesians 1:6 encourages us to live for the...
Read MoreMisdiagnosis…
If you are into medical thrillers you know about the dangers of misdiagnosis. You will have seen shows where the medication supposed to help the patient is quietly killing them, while the actual cause of the problem remains untreated. Misdiagnosis is an issue, but it’s compounded when no one is willing to concede that they have got it wrong. Stubbornly sticking to the wrong treatment is hazardous – but what if it’s not in the realm of your health? What if you have misdiagnosed why a relationship is failing – and its actually more about you than the person you blame?...
Read MoreFrom Mindfulness to Watchfulness…
I usually enjoy excellent health but some months back succumbed to a minor ailment which required me to be on medication for 10 days. The doctor informed me that as a likely side effect was sleepiness, I should take my daily tablet half an hour after I finished my evening meal. Came day four, and about thirty minutes after dinner I stopped and thought, “Have I taken my medicine?” Answer – I had no idea. I had a vague recollection that I might have, but had been so busy doing one thing after another that I really wasn’t sure. I tried to recap my activities and to remember what I had done…...
Read MoreSunday: Afraid yet filled with joy…
“So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.” Matt 28:8 Have you been at a wedding where the groom cries, and the bride, and the parents, and granny – and as they do they all tell you how happy they are. Emotions are funny things. We sometimes cry when we are happy. And then there are those funerals where people burst into loud laughter as the idiosyncrasies of the deceased are recapped and tolerantly recalled. At many funerals mirth and tears intermingle seamlessly. Emotions are funny things. We sometimes laugh when...
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