Dead Poets, Cold Swims and Epektasis: My Takeaways from 2024

Last night Rosemary and I watched Dead Poets Society. It felt like a good thing to do as a new year beckons. There are not many 35 year movies that can hold my attention, but this is one of them. There is so much I resonate with, but also a fair amount that niggles and leaves me thinking, “I’m not so sure about that.” And that’s why it’s such a good movie! Whatever, in reviewing the year I asked myself if I have sucked the marrow out of life, and if I have remembered to follow the “carpe diem” principle and seized the day.

In my own way, I think I have. While the year has had a fair few challenges I’m finishing it grateful, motivated, hopeful and seeing some things in clearer perspective. Here are 6 of my key learnings from the year.

1. Try new things – even though some won’t work.

One of my new practices was to start 3 mornings each week with a cold water swim. I’ve heard multiple podcasts extol the virtues of this, and as I was becoming more than a little annoyed with spending more time cleaning our pool than I ever spent in it, I thought, “What’s to lose? Let me give it a go.” I loved it – it’s so bracing. Definitely a way to kick start the day. The shock of entering the water in the middle of winter is real. Granted, for me it was a Perth winter, so mild by most standards. The more observant readers will be asking, “If you are saying how wonderful this is, why are you speaking about it in the past tense?” Fair question. Despite the many benefits of cold swims, there are risks. For some people it can trigger heart arrhythmia and it turns out I am “some people”. My trusty apple watch gave me the first warning, and repeated it several times. My doctor informs me it is a no go zone for me. Sigh! I enjoyed it, but there you go. I continue to spend far more time cleaning our pool than I am in it. Ah well, it’s still right to try new things even if they don’t always work out.

My second new thing was to help start a podcast – Stirrers and Saints for those who aren’t already in the know. This one started off fairly pragmatically. My latest book, Stirrers and Saints, was released in June and my wonderful publisher (Paternoster/ Authentic) alerted me that books don’t sell in the way they have in the past. They need something to catch an audience. Better still is a book that is part of an ongoing relationship with its readers – and blogs and podcasts help with that. I already have this blog, but thought it would be good to try the podcast route as well. Together with the team at the Centre for Faith and Life we talked our way through all the key themes of Stirrers and Saints. Initially it was going to be a one series, 13 episode endeavour, but the first series went better than expected, so we have carried on, series three ending the week before Christmas. We are not certain about the long term future of the podcast. From a fun perspective, I’d happily keep doing it forever. From a time perspective, that’s a little more challenging. It’s harder to get right than you might think, so it’s at the cost-benefit analysis stage. I’m hoping we will decide to keep going, and if you have suggestions on how we can improve, they are welcome. Of course if you like and follow the show, the chances of it carrying on increase!

2. Habits count

I’m a James Clear fan. His work on Atomic Habits – those little reflexes you build into your day that have a disproportionate impact – resonates with me. Years ago I got into the practice of not looking for the closest parking bay, but selecting one a little further to get my step quota up. I also now have to provide a justification for why I’m driving if the trip is less than a kilometre. 7 minutes of stretches are an automatic part of my early morning routine. I go to the gym 3 times a week. It’s built into the rhythm of what I do and serves me well.

OK, those are my virtuous habits. There are a fair few that I need to change. I still check social media and emails too often. My instinct to check the fridge as soon as I walk through the door remains.

But these are fairly superficial things. I’m trying to build the habit of being more reflective, of checking more carefully that I have really seen and paid attention to the people I am with. I believe that in some small way all encounters are providential – there at God’s invitation. I’m not sure if you can develop a habit of not missing what God is saying or doing in each situation, but I am trying to be more alert to it. And I’m trying to ask “In what way is God at work here?” often enough for it to become a life serving habit.

3. God is greater

It can sound trite to say that God is greater, but I have dug a little more deeply into the idea that the God we know and love is always beyond our knowing. Each little step we take unearths a thousand others to be taken. Gregory of Nyssa speaks of epektasis – that true joy is found in drawing closer to Christ. It’s Phil 3:13 – that we continually strive to know Christ better. We do not arrive, and there is joy and release in knowing this. We are never beyond the starting point because each step takes us to a new beginning, a fresh new starting point.

Some of my fresh starting points have been to dig more deeply into some Christian traditions that are not my own. While I am very comfortable with my position within the very wide range that is Christian faith, I realise – perhaps more than I did in the past – that I have so much to learn from positions, and cultures, and traditions that are not my own. I’m keen to deepen my exploration.

4. Take a break

This year we went on a cruise that saw stops in Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands, Belgium, the UK, Ireland and Scotland. It was truly amazing. And I am glad we did it when we did. Yes, Rosemary and I are getting older. We hope to have other adventures for many years, but are conscious that each year brings a few new niggles, and it’s wise not to take anything for granted. (To make the point, I’m writing this post in hospital while waiting for a hernia repair…the niggles are real). Seize the day… tomorrow might (or might not) be very different.

It was more than that though. Rosemary and I have now been married for 44 years. It continues to be a wonderful journey. But it has often been a very, very busy one. Having three weeks when our weightiest decision was which dining room to eat at, was a very novel experience for us. I’ve often been told that quality matters more than quantity. And that is sometimes true, but it overlooks how often genuinely precious moments take place because you allow enough time for them to happen. That’s a definite takeaway from the year for me.

5. Family matters

It’s been a big year for the family. After a very complex pregnancy, we have a fourth grandchild. Several family members had job changes – all essentially positive, but not without stress and strain. Life requires us all to be both agile and nimble, and this year has called for that a little more than most.

My takeaway is simple enough. If it’s family, it’s worth it. Totally worth it. I am so grateful for them all. And I am conscious that I have a wider family as well – both Rosemary and my families of origin. The tyranny of distance and the busyness of many decades has meant that has sometimes slipped. But they mean an enormous amount to both Rosemary and I and we hope to be able to spend more time with them.

6. Really see people

This one might seem strange, but it’s the challenge I will take into the new year – to really see the people I am with well. My favourite book this year was David Brooks How to Know a Person. It encourages us to move beyond the superficial and to see people deeply and well. It’s also very practical in suggesting ways to deepen conversations so that they move beyond a few comments about the weather. One I have asked in a few contexts is, “How do your ancestors turn up in your life?” It’s a surprisingly penetrating question and I have been delighted at how often it has led to potentially transforming conversations.

It’s the old problem. Life is busy. I don’t want to see people superficially or shallowly, but I often do. I’m starting to ask, “What did I miss?” And as that radar develops, some great things happen.

I have the privilege of coaching some people and serving as a spiritual director for others. It’s astonishing how much is inside of most people, just waiting to come out and flourish. It starts with seeing – seeing beyond the obvious to the “so much more” inside of each of us.

As your year draws to an end, I pray for you the delight of fresh beginnings, an ever deepening relationship with God, times of refreshment and renewal, life serving habits, and the courage to try new things. And hold on to the hope of family, whatever form that takes for you.

Thanks for being part of the journey.

Nice chatting…

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