Annoying sayings of Jesus…

If you’ve been following this blog, you will know that I’ve made a start on developing some proverbs and sayings. They are supposed to be wise and helpful, and perhaps you have found them so. But sometimes sayings can be really annoying – especially if they are trotted out when its too late to do much about them. I know “a stitch in time saves nine” but please don’t remind me of that when I face a huge repair bill because I forgot to get the car’s routine maintenance done.

While we are probably willing to accept that some of our sayings are exasperating, how about the idea that some of the things Jesus said were also really annoying. Now I know that our more pious readers will be rolling their eyes and hitting the unsubscribe button, but perhaps my more tolerant readers will be willing to bear with me. And if you are still reading, here are a few examples…

After a parable in which those who worked the most hours are paid the same as those who worked the least, in Matt 20:16 Jesus calmly announces, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Let’s face it, on hearing that some of us fake it and say things like, “That’s really lovely, most encouraging and counter cultural – very wise and so profound.” Sounds like a great response, but watch those same people when next you play Monopoly. When you draw the dreaded “Go to jail, go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200,” do they look devastated? They do not. When you land on their hotel on Mayfair, do they pretend not to notice and give you a free pass? They do not. We are wired to aim for the win, and whatever we say, we don’t aim to come last so that one day we will be first.

And how about Jesus’ instruction to “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44). Seriously? Isn’t the category “enemy” reserved for those you don’t love – or to put it more strongly, those you hate. Talk about Jesus missing the point. If we loved our enemies, they wouldn’t be enemies. Or is that the point? Regardless, it’s annoying. Loving enemies does not come naturally, and in practice it is very (very) complicated.

But my personal award for the all time annoying Jesus saying is found in Matt 5:41, “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two.” Well that would have gone down a treat. You can just imagine his Jewish listeners bursting into applause as he said it. Yes, they realised he was talking about the hated “one mile” rule. As part of a nation conquered by the Romans, a Jewish man lived with the indignity of having any Roman soldier entitled to call him over and insist that he carry that soldier’s pack for the next mile. As a humanitarian gesture the soldier was not allowed to get the same Jewish man to carry it more than a mile, but could then call another over. Actually, there is a little twist in Jesus’ instruction because soldiers were strictly forbidden to require anyone to carry their pack more than one mile and could be in serious trouble if they did. You can almost imagine a Jewish man obeying Jesus and saying to the soldier, “I’m going to carry this an extra mile” and the soldier, afraid of being reported, paling a little and saying, “No you don’t. You give me back that pack right now. One step further, and you are in big trouble (and so am I!)“

Regardless, it was a despised law. It was so humiliating to have to obey it. And here Jesus calmly suggests that in the face of that oppressive reminder of your conquered status, you carry the heavy pack (and they were heavy) not one mile but two. No, no Jesus. Think about that one a little longer. It’s more than annoying.

“Enough,” I hear you say. “True, some of Jesus’ sayings are somewhat challenging, but can’t you be a little more positive? Tell us about some of your favourite Jesus sayings.”

“Too easy,” I reply. “There are lots of them – but right up there is John 8:36, ‘If the son sets you free, you shall be free indeed.’ That is so beautiful. Sign me up for that one.”

Even as I say that, a niggling thought births itself in my head. “What if the way to claim this beautiful promise of Jesus is to take seriously the annoying challenges?”

What do I mean?

Well, am I really free, if I always have to win, if I always need to be first?

And am I really free if my hatred for my enemy consumes me day after day? Doesn’t my enemy then control me?

And if, without resentment, I opt to carry my oppressor’s pack an extra mile, have I not exerted my freedom to do more than I am required to, and don’t I demonstrate that I have not really been beaten?

Jesus says, “So if the son sets you free, you shall be free indeed.” If that means taking the annoying statements of Jesus seriously, it’s more than worth it. And come to think of it, the only somewhat annoying thing about Jesus is that it turns out that he is always right…

Nice chatting…

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