Effort, Excellence, and Exclusion: Three challenging “E” words…
I’ve been fortunate enough to have pastored churches which grew. And I loved the challenge each brought – adding new buildings, enlarging the staff, seeing people grow in their love for Jesus and each other. But each time we came up against what I call the “effort, excellence and exclusion dilemma”. What happens when we grow to a point where what used to be good enough, no longer meets the required standard? To be clear, while much of my life is lived within the broad parameters of the church, the issue is far wider. It’s when the amateur dance teacher has a...
Read MoreTaking steps towards radical honesty…
Have you ever been in a relationship where the person says, “I want you to be completely honest with me” and you make the mistake of believing them? There is something about complete honesty that can be very confronting. Even if we are told the “complete truth” it is usually massaged to make it a little more palatable – or at least, it is massaged if the person is a friend, but might be coldly dumped (and perhaps exaggerated) if an enemy. I’ve been thinking through my values – the things I most truly hold to – and asked myself where honesty...
Read MoreThe power of “yet” and “not yet”…
They can be two such frustrating words. You hear the question:”Have you figured out how that new app works?” or “Have you worked out how to put that IKEA chair together?” You know the answer will be those two words: “Not yet!” They can be even more worrying: “Have you got the new job you’re looking for?” “Not yet.” Perhaps its even worse, “Is your relationship any better?” or “Is the chemo starting to work?” And you hear the sobering response: “Not yet.” The first word is a negative...
Read MoreLiving on the Edge of the Inside: Why it’s OK to only Partly Belong…
Many years back I read Paul Tournier’s A Place for You, and was struck by his story of a young man who said simply: “Basically I’ve always been looking for a place – a place to be.” Perhaps it was because I identified, and realised that most of my life I have felt as though I belong – but also as though I don’t. It’s an oddly ambivalent feeling – being at home, but not really. And here was Tournier putting words to it -this search for home, a place where you can be without pretence, a place you feel you truly belong. I’m not sure I...
Read MoreBecause Success is a Lagging Indicator…
I can still hear her saying it. She had been asked why so many people engage in ultimately destructive behaviours, while healthy habits are quietly ignored. Her answer was simple, but it has stuck with me. “Because success is a lagging indicator.” Naturally she elaborated, but she didn’t need to. Those six words were enough to bring the “ah ha” of recognition to me. “Because success is a lagging indicator…” We often think in terms of cause and effect. Put your hand on a dish straight out the oven, and there is an immediate yelp of pain and and...
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