Simplicity, Accountability, Purity…
I was chatting to a 40 something year old who was reflecting on his 15 years of marriage. ‘When we said “I do” we had agreed that it meant not only an unqualified “yes” to each other, but also a commitment to a future of simplicity, accountability and purity. We saw those as three key building blocks for the journey ahead. It’s working really well for us.’ I’ve thought about the conversation since. What are the key ingredients for a good marriage – or, for that matter, a good work relationship, a deep friendship or whatever? I’m...
Read MoreIlluminator or Diminisher?
I recently watched a YouTube talk in which David Brooks discusses his new book How to Know a Person – which explores listening to and seeing others well. It is filled with deep insights, but one especially struck me. Brooks asks if we are essentially illuminators or diminishers in our conversations. Naturally he elaborates. He suggests there are those who listen to reply, often to top what has been said, or to claim the same experience but more so. They take hold of conversations to redirect them to their agenda. They are not necessarily intending to be rude, but they prefer to be the...
Read MoreSabbath as restoring or restorying?
Perhaps the title of this post is a little too clever, but it started as a throw away question in a podcast I was half listening to while going through my paces at the gym. My location is important, as it meant I was trying to follow a thoughtful discussion whilst gasping for breath and wondering if I would still be alive in ten minutes. In other words, I might well have missed the subtlety of the argument, but it did set me thinking. So what was the speaker getting at when asking if the Sabbath is primarily about restoring or restorying? I think the implication was that when most people...
Read MoreWhen Church is Beautiful…
I don’t know if you have ever left a church service thinking, “Wow – that was beautiful – really beautiful.” Given the bad press the church often gets, I can imagine some of the cynical comments that could be forming, but why not put them on hold, and listen to the experience I’ve had the last two Sundays – when I’ve left the same smallish church both weeks thinking, “that was beautiful – really beautiful.” A quick disclaimer. I was the preacher both weeks. “Ha, ha, you say – you don’t think that might have...
Read MoreBusy or Productive…
I started my working life as a chaplain to university students. It was a wonderful post. I was paid to have conversations with emerging leaders, and my job description (such as it was) included taking time to think deeply together with them about things that matter, and to give talks at the many events which were hosted at the five campuses I worked on. There was only one frustration. Many of the meetings I was asked to speak at never happened. I would spend hours agonising over the morality of euthanasia or I would work out a Christian response to Marxism, and come ready to deliver my...
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