Redeeming Disqualifying Stories…

Some people have stories that follow them around: “You do know about the time he…” or “You may not realise it, but though she looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, there was the time that…”

At a church I once pastored a woman had found faith in Jesus whist in prison and now attended the church. She came up to me hesitantly one Sunday. I had given the church announcements and they had included the all too often pitch on the need for more helpers – this time for the tea and coffee roster. The task was straightforward enough – immediately after the service go to the kitchen, check the urn had kept the water hot, fill a few tea pots and be ready to add hot water to the coffee powder (sad, I know, but back then, that was all that was on offer!). Afterwards, wash the cups and put things away. Usually the job was shared between 4 people. It was one of the few jobs even I could manage, but I had to be chatting to congregants, so wasn’t on the list.

“I’d like to be on the tea roster” she said cautiously. “But I don’t know if it’s ok. Do you think it will be alright if I am on it. You know my past. I understand if I’m an embarrassment or not wanted.”

I assured her she was more than welcome, but she seemed unconvinced. “Are you really sure?” she asked several times. “Really, I do understand if you don’t want me.” It broke my heart to hear her uncertainty. Of course we wanted her. Of course she was welcome on that roster. Hers was an amazing story of the loving and forgiving grace of God, and frankly if anyone had raised an objection to her help I would happily have clonked them over the head with the teapot (disclaimer – this is not advised).

This wonderful woman had a “disqualifying story” – a reason why she probably wouldn’t ever feel part of the inner circle and might at best tentatively offer to pour the tea. Of course that is not at all how God sees her. To God she is a beloved daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made and fully part of the family of God. If you believe the gospel, that’s simply stating the facts. There are no second class citizens in God’s family, and entry for everyone is through the forgiveness and mercy found at Calvary. But while facts are friends, feelings are real, and a part of her continued to feel disqualified long after forgiveness had been received and her life had turned around.

While stories differ, I have met so many people who struggle with disqualifying stories. At times it is something tangible – the divorce that was largely my fault, the child I neglected and who now struggles to fit in anywhere, my struggle with lust, my failure at work, my bankruptcy. Sometimes there is nothing very obvious that has happened, but they simply feel a deep sense of shame and inadequacy. Some feel doomed to forever be the outsider, never the one deeply loved or welcomed.

The Bible is filled with disqualifying stories. David’s affair with Bathsheba, Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, Moses striking the rock, Eli’s inability to discipline his sons, Jonah’s insistence on going to Tarshish, Gideon’s need for repeated signs, Peter’s triple denial of Jesus, Thomas’ deep doubt. Some are resolved, some not.

Recently I have been thinking of Joshua’s call to leadership. Spare a thought for him. It’s tough to follow someone who has been the leader for 40 years – especially when their standing has grown through the decades. Following Moses was always going to be a tough gig. Trust me – I’ve had to take over from some amazing leaders and it’s hard to field the “(previously leaders name) never did it like that” comments. And they are always made…

We are only told 3 things about Joshua before he takes over from Moses.

On the positive side, he was one of the twelve spies sent to explore the promised land before its conquest. 10 of the 12 conclude it is mission impossible, but Caleb and Joshua are able to assure the people “the Lord is with us” (Num 14:9). That’s a leadership win for Joshua.

The other two stories are less affirming.

Exodus 32 is the sorry story of the Israelites building an idol of a golden calf while Moses is receiving the law from God. The story is tragic at so many levels, by for now let’s simply note that Exodus 32:17 sees a rather nervy Joshua suggest to Moses that the uproar he hears in the Israelite camp is probably “the sound of war in the camp”. A more worldly wise Moses has to inform Joshua that it is the sound of drunken revelry (v6, 18). Joshua comes across as a little panicky and out of touch. It’s not an encouraging story for an emerging leader.

Number 11:26-30 recalls a somewhat petty Joshua trying to get Moses to stop Eldad and Medad from prophesying. So far as Joshua was concerned, they were not genuine insiders and therefore not able to prophesy. But Number 11:26 tells us “Yet the Spirit also rested on them.” Joshua wants them shut down. Moses pushes back firmly, “I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets” (v29). In other words, get your priorities right Joshua and stop trying to control the story so tightly.

If you were on a selection panel and you only knew 3 things about Joshua – that he had been confident that the promised land could be captured, but that he was also a little panicky, an over reactor and that he was inclined to be small minded and petty, would you have given him the nod of approval. Probably not. Two of the three stories are disqualifying… Except that God sees it differently…

I’ve been saying that many people struggle with disqualifying stories – but perhaps it’s not “people”, perhaps it’s you.

The good news is that in the hands of Jesus disqualifying stories are transformed. That’s the essence of the Gospel. Forgiveness is both possible and real. Disqualifiying stories can be redeemed. Accept the forgiveness offered – and get back in the race. And if anyone tries to make you feel you can’t… well perhaps that says more about their disqualifying story, than yours…

Nice chatting...

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