Is church working for you?
He is a very committed Christian but recently said to me, “This church thing, it’s just not working for me. The kids are bored, I’m bored, a lot of what happens is silly, and I experience God a lot more when I’m out in nature than when I’m forced to sit still and listen to endless jabber from the front – all in that rather drab building.” My instinct was to tell him why he was wrong, and to think of a way to help him reframe things. But even as the shape of a few rebuttal sentences formed in my head, I remembered this wasn’t the first time I...
Read MoreDFM: The Direction, Focus, Motivation Trio
You might know that I now direct AVENIR Leadership Institute. It’s a lot of fun to lead something I was instrumental in founding, especially as it means I can’t pull the “I don’t know what the founders were thinking” card. If it’s not to my liking, it’s a little too obvious who is to blame! We’ve got a great team, a wonderful culture and a huge amount to be grateful for, not least our clients, who let us dive deeply into their world. They look to us for many things – ideas, an external perspective, coaching, encouragement, resources and...
Read MoreMisdiagnosis…
If you are into medical thrillers you know about the dangers of misdiagnosis. You will have seen shows where the medication supposed to help the patient is quietly killing them, while the actual cause of the problem remains untreated. Misdiagnosis is an issue, but it’s compounded when no one is willing to concede that they have got it wrong. Stubbornly sticking to the wrong treatment is hazardous – but what if it’s not in the realm of your health? What if you have misdiagnosed why a relationship is failing – and its actually more about you than the person you blame?...
Read MoreRemembering and Hope…
We live in an era of chronological snobbery, where only the most current is seen to be worthy of attention. Often we judge the past too severely, assuming every tool at our disposal was available to earlier generations and forgetting how much they did with so much less than we have. While I am convinced that we should look more to the future than to the past, it is possible to push that too far. After all, one of the most frequent cries in scripture is “remember”, and to forget to remember is too risk misunderstanding the part we are called to shape and play in the ongoing story...
Read MoreBecause Place Matters…
I still remember the lines from Paul Tournier’s book, A Place for You, “Basically I have always been looking for a place. A place to call home.” Tournier writes at the interface between faith and psychology and insightfully explores the importance of belonging and knowing that there is a place for you. Place might be a psychological zone, but often it is a physical one – the tangible contours of a garden or a familiar chair that is left open for you. In my last post I explored Wolterstorff’s idea that Shalom (or Flourishing) is made up of 4 large blocks –...
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