The in and out dilemma: Should we magnify our differences?
By and large we live in a tolerant era – well, it’s tolerant until it isn’t. What do the things we both tolerate and exclude tell us about ourself and the time in which we live? And what’s the difference between tolerating something and embracing it? Should we go on about our differences, or focus more on the common ground between us? And should our differences drive us apart, or draw us together in curious wonder? That’s a lot of questions for an opening paragraph! I guess I’m asking them because the longer I live, the more I notice how often people...
Read MoreHear, Help or Hug: 3 Ways to Respond
It was a slightly unexpected and somewhat abrupt question, but afterwards its wisdom struck me. I was chatting to a friend about a difficult thing that had happened and he simply asked: “So what would you like from me? To hear, to help or to hug?” It set me thinking about my instinctive response when people talk to me about something difficult. While I try to remember the importance of deep listening, I’m wired to swing into help mode. Tell me a problem, and I will quickly suggest 5 or 6 options that you can try. If you don’t like any of them, I’m usually able...
Read MoreWith a stake in the heart – learning from the past
I’m taking today’s blog in a somewhat different direction, and a bit of a warning is appropriate. I will be looking at some historic Christian responses to suicide, and what we can learn from them. While it is not meant to be, it could be triggering for some, and if that’s you, give this post a skip – we’ll be back next week with very different fare. And don’t forget, help is at hand if you need it.. In spite of the warning, I think this is a really important topic. I can’t think of anything more tragic than when a person ends their own life. The...
Read MoreBecause we all need six weeks off…
A good friend was chatting about his recent visit to the dentist. As his mouth was trapped in a permanently open gape the dentist was doing all the talking, and was running through the woes of the world. He kept going for a long time and then concluded, “with all that has been going on, I think everyone needs six weeks off.” It’s a rather appealing idea that… the whole world taking six weeks off. It made me reflect on a recent walk Rosemary and I had been taking on the shared cyclist-pedestrian footpath. It was a sunny day and keeping to the left as we were supposed...
Read MoreThe Bias that Blinds Us…
Most of us would like to be good listeners, even deep listeners – people who see beyond the surface of things to what is really going on. Jesus was one of those people. When asked a question he rarely answered it directly, but moved it to a different level or replied with another question. In doing so he opened up new world’s of possibility. He could see in the hated tax collector Zacchaeus a man capable of great generosity; he could sense in the wild and demon possessed Legion someone who could be a sane, wise, witness to the community. David Augsburger has written, “Being heard...
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