Ever been lost in thought and had someone ask, “A penny for your thoughts”? Ok, realistically anyone under 60 is not likely to express it this way, but they might well ask, “You look lost in thought. What’s on your mind?” It can be a confronting question. After all, our thoughts are private, and even if we answer the query, we’re likely to edit it a little. I remember once reading that someone was working on a gadget that would give you the ability to know exactly what others are thinking, and my response was “well that’s a fast way to ensure relational breakdown and total chaos.”
Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not one of those people who think dark and ugly thoughts about others while smiling at them and saying how amazing they are. I try to say things I genuinely think and feel, albeit that kindness might see me shave the sharper edges off. For all that, I wouldn’t want you to know my every thought, or certainly not unless I could give a running commentary on them.
Why not?
Well, there are my morbid thoughts, and my anxious thoughts, and my angry thoughts, and my insecure thoughts, and my jealous thoughts, and my petty thoughts, and my critical thoughts, and my lustful thoughts, and my mean thoughts, and my impatient thoughts. Add to those my silly thoughts, and my weary thoughts, and my witty thoughts, and my bored thoughts, and my “I’m not really concentrating” thoughts. Once you have got through that hefty mound, you might come out to the thoughts that align with Phil 4:8 “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Yes, I do have thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable… it’s just that they are bouncing together with a raft of others that can’t be summarised with those descriptors. Actually, like most of us I have a very busy thought life, and it’s often a bit of a jumble.
In this series I’m trying to map out some contours for a theology of personal development, and there is no question that thinking about our thought life is an important part of this. Brood away resentfully about some unfair action taken against you, and that destructive thought pattern will do you more harm than the event that triggered it.
Jesus was clear that what goes on inside of us finds expression over time. You can cover your negative thinking for a while, but it’s just a matter of time until it spins around and catches you out. Or as Jesus puts it in Matt 15:19 “Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” The context was the Pharisees complaint that Jesus’ disciples did not wash their hands before eating (v2). Jesus used this as a teaching opportunity about what really makes us clean or unclean. Jesus’ take is that it’s not what happens on the outside that corrupts us, but what takes place in our inner life – or how we process all of life. And we usually start our processing by thinking – or by telling ourselves a story – of how we should understand things or respond to them. It’s at this point that we start to make choices.
Our thinking quickly defines how we see ourself. Often it is entitled (I’m owed better). Usually it is ego centric (how does this impact me?) It might go through a “fight or flight” filter (is this a threat to me – if so, do I run or retaliate?) On our better days our thinking is more generous, and wonders how the other is doing, and how we might be of help.
I find Ps 19:14 deeply helpful. “May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your site, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” In context, the Psalm has been speaking about God’s words – words we hear through nature (v1-6) and words we hear through Scripture (v7-13). Having reflected upon God’s words, v14 then closes the Psalm with a prayer for our words, which will have been shaped by the meditation of our heart. The closing prayer is then a simple, though profound one. God I know you see what goes on deep inside of me, and I know you hear each word I speak. My deepest longing, after I have thought about the way in which You speak to us, is that my thought and speech life will be pleasing to you.
Having prayed this prayer, I’m invited to interrogate my thoughts and feelings more fully. Ps 42:5 and 43:5 ask the same question, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” Both Psalms then offer the same instruction and reassurance, “put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my saviour and my God.”
Of course it might not be that we are downcast. It could be that we are angry, or disappointed or simply confused by a raft of emotions that are difficult to understand. In this confusing swirl, we hear the invitation, “put your hope in God”, and we should therefore at least pause a moment and think, “does my hope in God impact this?” Or perhaps we can make it a prayer, “God, in the midst of this, please be my hope – my rock, my redeemer.”
What am I saying? When our thinking becomes dialogue with God, it shifts. No question is off limits. What is off limits is refusing God as our dialogue partner. I think in the light of the story of God. I think in the light of the God whose child I am. I think in the light of the God who is my shepherd (Ps 23). Putting it in a slightly broader theological context, I invite my thinking to be shaped by the awareness that I live “Coram Deo” – I live in the sight, knowledge and presence of God.
How does this contribute to a theology of personal development? Instead of simply instructing myself, “Be positive. Negative thoughts won’t get you ahead,” I live in the light of the deepest truth of my life: I am God’s child. In 2 Cor 10:5 Paul boldly claims, “I take every thought captive for Christ.” Actually that is really just saying, “my thinking is shaped by what I most truly believe.” When that seems too hard, I don’t become silent and surly, but turn to my constant dialogue partner and ask, “Why?” Most often I hear the gentle response, “put your hope in God” – and that’s an invitation worth responding to…
Nice chatting…
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Hi Brian,
Your text in bold really stood out to me. If all our thoughts are dialogue with God, it shifts our whole mentality to our thoughts. Rather than cleansing, trying to ignore bad thoughts, or change them according to our own strength, we’d bring them to God and let all be in his sight. The good, the bad and the ugly. And then the heart can lean into Him, submit to Him and walk in that light knowing it’s only by His grace we have any light at all.
I compare this to the risk of thinking of life being of Christian and non-Christian actions or things, rather than bringing all we do to flow out of our saviour & for all we do to serve Him.
With nothing off limits, fully opening my thoughts to Him in dialogue, on one hand seems scary. It’s a place which is a place I’m often ashamed of. And yet, Jesus was never ashamed to hang with the tax collectors, prostitutes, and others considered the worst of the worst. And the God who never changes isn’t ashamed of being in constant conversation with me either.
Thanks for this Brian, really impactful. Loving this series and will check out the Coram Deo post as well.
I really enjoyed reading your comment Jake. Spot on! That’s exactly what I was trying to explore and you’ve expressed it so well.
I do think it’s a game changing concept.