On saying goodbye to a loved home…

As I write, our home packers are filling boxes and blanketing furniture. Tomorrow the removal van will whisk our earthly goods into storage for a month as we wait for our new home to be completed. When you read this it’s likely that our possessions will be in storage and we will be in our nomadic month, housed courtesy of family, friends and timeshare. Yes, our house (no, our home) of 17 years is sold, and will soon be part of an earlier chapter in our life. True, each ending is also a beginning and Rosemary and I have much to look forward to and gratitude is an underlying theme of our lives. But today is today, and as I sit in my study, much of it already packed, I’m feeling a sense of loss at the weight of saying goodbye to this home which has been such a greatly loved friend. Actually it’s seen more of our life than even our closest friends. 17 years is a long time – so many dreams have been birthed here. It has been a place of creativity, companionship, romance, love, kindness, argument, celebration, disappointment, confusion, hospitality, friendship, prayer, feasting, fasting – I could go on and on.

We’ve discovered that rooms can have multiple purposes. Our 3 children stayed with us until they married (the pedantic in me needs to clarify that Nic had married before our move to this home), and as each moved into their new season, we suddenly had a room that could be repurposed. We delayed each transformation, never quite ready to accept that their new life had begun, but then discovered the joy of extra room for guests, space for an art and music room, a room for grandchildren (complete with their own play kitchen) – just room – lots of it. It was glorious, and dare I say it, COVID lockdowns were actually a joy – no sense of claustrophobia, and a spa and pool waiting to be used in the garden, while our water feature tinkled away in the background, providing the best kind of white noise. I felt a little guilty at how pleasurable it was. What was traumatic for others was fairly serene for us.

I’m glad that this has been a home that hasn’t only been for us. We have loved the guests we have had. We even managed a sit down meal with over 100 people seated around the property. It’s been a home for bridal and baby showers, multiple strategy and planning days, pool and spa parties, the occasional retreat day (making use of the nearby parks), and so many meals with friends old and new. Conversations have ranged from the frivolous, to the medical (Rosemary loves her nursing stories), to the pseudo-sporting (I don’t fool anyone there), and obviously to the theological, periodically the political, and often the deeply personal. Though the home is less busy than it once was, we still host a small group – and hope to continue to in our new home, though with more limited space we face the dilemma of having to suggest that the group doesn’t grow much!

So why are we moving? Well, as the saying goes, “tide and time wait for no man”. This is a home for a family, not a (slowly) aging couple. Rather than fight the change we thought it best to embrace it – to welcome a new season as a friend. We are looking forward to the freedom of a lock and leave lifestyle. I still do a fair amount of travel for work, and though security has never been an issue, Rosemary would feel better in a gated community. She might even accompany me on some of my trips, so that instead of rushing in and out of lovely locations we could stay a few extra days. Please don’t read this post as a plea for pity. We have lovely plans (and some amazing trips) coming up. The future is bright.

But this season is drawing to a close. This home will soon be lived in by another family (actually, a very lovely family).

Ecc 3 tells us that there is a time and season for everything. There is indeed a time to say “hello” and a time to say “farewell”. There is also a time to pause and to give thanks for what has been. In the midst of nostalgia I detect a far deeper emotion inside of me. Gratitude. Overwhelming gratitude. The Psalmist writes, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance” (Ps 16:6). I identify with the sentiment. What did I do to deserve it? Nothing – I have simply been the recipient of God’s kindness, grace and generosity. And I want to say thank you to God for this home and all it has meant to us, and to others.

And so onwards and upwards! A new home calls. We went for a practical completion inspection yesterday. It is lovely. And it is the right size for a new season. And there are so many new memories about to be made. I’m quietly confident that our new season will be good (regardless of what is in it) for God is always with us. And with the Psalmist “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing'” (Ps 16:2).

One of the packers has just asked if our open box of Cadbury Favourites is meant to go into storage, or stay with us. What do you think? I’m going with a “stay with us” answer!

Nice chatting…

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