People often ask what my new writing project is and I tell them I’m working on 30 Proverbs to Live By. It still has a fair way to go, but I like the idea of a book that gives a key thought to ponder each day of the month (and a favourite one to come back to on those 31 day months). Having said that, I’ve been taken by some proverbs and common sayings that I think are simply misleading. It’s a sad state of affairs when what initially sounds sage like and profound turns out to be unhelpful, and sometimes even destructive. I will explore this over the next two weeks – this week looking at some sayings from the past, and then taking a more contemporary turn in the second.
Here are 3 proverbs or sayings I was taught in the past that I now push back on. Perhaps you have others.
Number 1: Curiosity killed the cat.
As a primary school child I was taught that “curiosity killed the cat”. Seriously – what primary school teacher would say that to a young inquiring mind? Ask any questions, and you might land up dead (just like cats land up dead – oh sorry, didn’t you know that your pet cat will land up dead one day). Now I do get that the endless questioning of young minds can get a little tiresome and an endless “why”, “why”, “why” might leave you wanting to scream out “beware – curiosity killed the cat”, but it’s a massive vote of no confidence in learning and growth. Without curiosity we are left with a bland repetition of the status quo. Those into studying language power plays note that this proverb has a vested interest in the status quo and leaving everything as it is. If you aren’t curious and ask no questions, nothing is likely to change.
How about this as a counter to curiosity killed the cat? No, it’s not a snappy proverb, but it is a significant truth. Here it is… You don’t arrive at truth unless you ask why at least 5 times. This is about the different layers of truth.
So why “yes, but why?” times 5? Because each time the “yes, but why?” challenges you to dig a little deeper to uncover the why behind the initial why and the next why. “And why does that matter,” you wisely ask? Because if Jesus declares himself to be the way, the truth and the life (as he does in John 14:6) it attaches a significance to truth that is mind boggling. Don’t be satisfied with a caricature version of reality. Dabble in anything less than truth and you aren’t coming out at Jesus, the ultimate source of all truth. And by all means query that with a “yes, but why” five times and you will find the exercise to be deeply satisfying – though I won’t go through it here (but I will make a shameless plug for my book “Why Christianity it Probably True“).
Number 2: Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never harm you
Really? Try saying that to yourself after you have endured non stop verbal abuse. Total nonsense, isn’t it? I heard someone once change it to: “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will kill you.” Hopefully they won’t – but they can certainly deeply discourage and demotivate you. Proverbs 18:21 is perceptive “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” The tongue has the power of life and death. Wow, that is powerful. And it means we should think carefully about what we say, and when we have chosen our words poorly we should not quickly dismiss their impact with a “words will never harm you.”
Number 3: Cut your coat according to your cloth
I am not as bothered by this one, because it has a certain common sense element to it, but words are powerful, and note that the implicit message behind this proverb is “accept the status quo. Work with what is.” But what about when change is needed (as it often is)? What if our cloth is not suitable for what we need to do? Do we simply resign to sub-standard forever? What about dreaming new worlds into being (and I rather love the inspirational but pragmatic, “Blessed are they who dream dreams and work to make them come true”)? And remember, the Bible has an eschatological orientation. It is about change. We wait for a new heaven and new earth. Why new? Because the old is not what it is meant to be! Beware of dampening dreams, because the God whose image we are made it, made everything out of nothing. God speaks and the world comes into being. We who are in this God’s image should ask how we can play our role in fulfilling Jesus’s prayer “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:10). On earth as it is in heaven. You don’t get there by using “cut your coat according to your cloth” as your mantra!
What’s the point of this exercise? To make some clever points about a few proverbs way over their use by date? Not really. I’ve become aware that life involves both learning and unlearning. And we sometimes have to consciously decide to unlearn some unhelpful things – like curiosity killed the cat and words will never harm you. Much of life is lived on auto-pilot, governed by attitudes and sayings from the past. Why not spend some time examining them, and discovering words that have the power of life. For you will know the truth, and the One who is truth, will set you free (John 8:32).
Nice chatting…
Photo by Ron Lach : https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-man-sitting-at-the-table-8467226/
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