When Wisdom isn’t Wise: Some Modern Assumptions to Query

Last week I looked at a few proverbs that are now beyond their use by date. In its own way each is rather oppressive. Are you one of my diligent readers who remembers the three I looked at? Curiosity killed the cat; Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never harm you; and Cut your coat according to your cloth. When I mentioned these three to my older grandchildren they looked at me in blank incomprehension. None were part of their vocabulary, and I am glad about that. As I say, their use by date expired a fair while back.

However there are many contemporary mantras that are now rolled out as though their wisdom is deep and beyond challenge. Some strike me as seriously dodgy, or true only in very specific circumstances. To be honest, I sometimes find myself parroting some of them, and it leaves me making a note to myself that I am as prone as anyone to uttering nonsense. Here are some of the things that many of us unthinkingly say that need many qualifiers…

Everyone’s entitled to their point of view.

Of course they are, but let’s be 100% clear about what we are not saying. You are entitled to your point of view but that in no way implies that it is either defensible or correct. I have a friend who often disagrees with me. Our banter around our differences is amicable and often witty, an oft repeated line of his being, “Brian, I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

Why am I challenging the sentiment? Because it implies that all views are equal. They aren’t. You might well believe the earth is flat. Fair enough, you are entitled to your view (in the sense that I will not attempt to imprison or harm you for it), but you are also wrong! 100% wrong. And while I won’t try to force you to stop having that view, please don’t expect me to take your views of science seriously. Holding some views has a price tag – and that’s appropriate. Believe the world is flat – if you will – but don’t expect the rest of us to give you endless airtime to promote your views. And that is something I take issue with. The contemporary assumption that if there is an alternate view it must be given the same exposure as all other views. Nope – while I am always interested in why people arrive at the views they hold (and so I should, for curiosity did not kill the cat), when we fail to evaluate and pay attention to the robustness of an argument we are on a road to silliness.

No, I am not suggesting that not yet fully formed ideas should be quickly shouted down. And I greatly value imagination and creativity, but no, all views are not equal. We give too much away if we are not willing to challenge and debate. There is no need to be nasty or unpleasant about it, but too quick a “well everyone’s entitled to their own view” can be a dismissive way of refusing to take someone seriously. True, Jesus taught that we should not cast pearls before swine. It’s an interesting saying and in some ways it doesn’t sound very Jesus like (did he really suggest some people are pigs?) But Matt 7:6 is clear. It’s the philosophical recognition that trying to change some people and their views is a waste of time – like throwing pearls to swine. Why would you do it when there is a far more receptive audience out there?

So long as it feels right, do it…

Now to be clear, often this is true and valuable advice. A while back I wrote on why feelings matter, and I’m sticking to what I said there – because feelings do matter! And Paul’s counsel in Col 3:15 to let the “peace of God rule in your heart” is an invitation to ask if you feel at peace about a decision and if you think that peace derives from God. But having said that, while feelings are a guide (one amongst many) they are not the be all and end all. And actually my post was very nuanced, it’s title being the clue “Because feelings don’t happen to us, but for us…” – but let me not move away from my gripe about insisting that things feel right.

In reality we often feel very uncertain about things, but must act. I certainly have often concluded that what I should do is the thing I least wanted to do. Ordinary everyday discipline can feel like downright hard and difficult work – the sort we don’t want to do, but should. And when it comes to love – oh my, how many have landed in disastrous waters because they assumed “it can’t be wrong if it feels so right” – except that 3 weeks later what felt so right might feel so terribly, terribly wrong. You need a more robust compass than the feelings of the moment.

Rather than being guided by feelings alone may I suggest that we help people to think carefully through the virtues and values (not exactly the same thing – and both matter) they are building their life upon – the big things that matter week in and week out. Letting the peace of God rule in our heart is far easier when it is built on the solid rock of carefully considering the life truths we are building upon. Psalm 1 gives clear counsel here. Meditate on the law of the Lord, and in season it will bear fruit. It’s not about the moment, but solid practices over decades.

The end justifies the means…

No, no and no again. The means becomes the end. This one gets me worked up – and I am not the first. Psalm 73 sees the Psalmist trying to understand why the wicked so often seem to prosper (so surely their methods are justified?) – though it concludes with the firm insistence that the end is the ultimate end (and many things are seen very differently when held in eschatological perspective)- not the temporary current reality that often overwhelms us.

This one requires conviction to stay the course. It takes more than simply feeling right. It takes virtue to courageously say, “No we won’t go that path, even if it seems to lead to success. The moral price tag is simply too high.” It also takes deep inner conviction to let the peace of God rule in our heart as we say no to manipulative methods – even though they often work. And no, its not just playing the long game – because that implies that final victory is the highest good. It’s doing the right thing even if there is no recognition. Good is a good in its own right, and sometimes we must be content with that.

I often cite the “face in the mirror test”. You have to be able to look at your face in the mirror and be comfortable with what you see. No matter how “successful”, if the path you took to get their is strewn with compromise, you have given away too much.

Well, that’s it for this week. A bit of a negative slant – so I thought I’d flick to a life serving truth that is often spoken, but less often acted upon… everyone matters – because everyone matters to the God who knows even when the sparrow falls. In a world that so often excludes, it’s worth thinking through how we should work this truth out in practice. And remember, everyone doesn’t exclude you.

Nice chatting…

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